I finally read the Princess Bride by WIlliam Goldman. I have been a fan of the movie for years. We watch it at camp, and use scenes from it for Camp Flag Ceremony skits. I enjoyed the book - but I must say that it joins The Scarlet
Pimpernel, which we also use for skits at Loll, as a book that is NOT as good as its movie version. Goldman
constantly tries to inject his own life and opinions into the story, but he is
no Henry Fielding, in fact he is no L. Frank Baum. I got tired of trying to guess if he is lieing or not. In spite of all that there were some fun quotes:
The Princess Bride
1. Farm Boy: Now the farm boy
was staring back at the Countess. He was feeding the cows and his muscles were
rippling the way they always did under his tanned skin and Buttercup was
standing there watching as the farm boy looked, for the first time, deep into
the Countess’s eyes. p. 57
2. Growing Love:
“I love you,” Buttercup said. “I know
this must come as something of a surprise, since all I’ve ever done is scorn
you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now,
and every second, more. I thought an
hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man, but a half
hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I
felt then. But then minutes after that,
I understood that my previous love was a puddle compared to the high seas
before a storm. p. 58
3. On Moby Dick: Me
again. Of all the cuts in this version,
I feel most justified in making this one.
Just as the chapters on whaling in Moby-Dick can be omitted by all but the most punishment-loving readers . . . pp.
83-84
4. On God Killing: “I don’t like killing a girl,” the Spaniard
said. “God does it all the time; if it
doesn’t bother Him, don’t let it worry you.” [said Vizzni] p. 103
5. Homeric: I only wish we could stay for his grief—it
should be Homeric.” p. 104
6. Physical Strength
not Mental Ability: When it came to
power, nothing worried him [Fezzik].
When it came to reading, he got knots in his middle of his stomach, and
when it came to writing, he broke out in a cold sweat, and when addition was
mentioned or, worse, long division, he always changed the subject right
away. p. 112
7. Mind of Vizzini: From the beginning, when as a child he
realized his bumped body would never conquer worlds, he relied on his
mind. He trained it, fought it, brought
it to heel. p. 113
8. On the Meaning of
Inconceivable: “He’ll never catch
up!” the Sicilian cried.
“Inconceivable!” “You keep using
that word!” the Spaniard snapped, “I
don’t think it means what you think it does.”
p. 114
9. On Climbing: The man in black was, indeed, rising. Somehow, in some almost miraculou8s way, his
fingers were finding holds in the crevices, and he was now perhaps fifteen feet
closer to the top, farther from death.
p. 118
10. On a Father’s
Love and Love: He [Inigo] was
fantastically happy. Because of his
father. Domingo Montoya was
funny-looking and crotchety and impatient and absent-minded and never
smiled. Inigo loved him. Totally.
Don’t ask why. There really
wasn’t any one reason you could put your finger on. Oh, probably Domingo loved him back, but love
is many things, none of them logical. p. 120
11. Friends Argue: He [Inigo] knew they [Domingo and Yeste] had
been brought up together, had known each other sixty years, had never not loved
one another deeply, and it thrilled him when he could hear them arguing. That was the strange thing: arguing was all
they ever did. p. 122
12. Craftsman-v-Artist:
“No. Not yet. A craftsman only. But I dream to be an artist. I pray that someday, if I work with enough
care, if I am very very lucky, I will make a weapon that is a work of art. Call me an artist then, and I will
answer.” p. 125
13. Domingo Becomes
an Artist: Such a year. One night
Inigo woke to find his father seated.
Staring. Calm. Inigo followed the stare. The six-fingered sword was done. Even in the hut’s darkness, it
glistened. “At last,” Domingo
whispered. He could not take his eyes
from the glory of the sword. “After a
lifetime. Inigo. Inigo.
I am an artist.” p. 130
14. Capitalism: From all across the world they came, begging him for weapons, so he doubled his prices
because he didn’t want to work too hard anymore he was getting old, but when he
doubled his prices, when the news spread from duke to prince to king, they only
wanted him the more desperately. Now the
wait was two years for a sword and the line-up of royalty was unending and
Yeste was growing tired, so he doubled his prices again, and when that didn’t
stop them, he decided to triple his already doubled and redoubled prices and
besides that, all work had to be paid for in jewels in advance and the wait was
up to three years, but nothing would stop them.
They had to have swords by Yeste or nothing, and even though the work on
the finest was nowhere what it once was (Domingo, after all, no longer could
save him) the silly rich men didn’t notice.
All they wanted was his weapons and they fell over each other with
jewels for him.” pp. 134-135
15. Inigo’s
challenge: “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare
to die,” and then, oh then, the duel. p. 139
16. Science and
Relativist Explanations: “That explains it.” Actually, of course, it didn’t explain
anything, but whenever doctors are confused about something, which is really
more frequently than any of us would do well to think about, they always snatch
at something in the vicinity of the case and add, “That explains it.” If Fezzid’s mother had to come late, they
would have said, “Well, you came late, that explains it.” Or “Well, it was raining during delivery,
this added weight is simply moisture, that explains it.” p. 156
17. How to Make a
Fist (As my father told me): “Honey,” Fezzik’s father said, “look: when you
make a fist, you don’t put your thumb
inside your fingers, you keep your thumb outside your fingers, because if you keep your thumb inside your fingers and you hit
somebody, what will happen is you’ll break your thumb and that isn’t good,
because the whole objet when you hit somebody is to hurt the other guy not
yourself.” p. 158
18. Fighting One or a
Group: Suddenly he [Fezzik] knew. He
had not fought against one man if so long he had all but forgotten how. He had been fighting groups and gangs and
bunches for so many years that the idea of having but a single opponent was
slow in making itself know to him.
Because you fought them entirely differently. p. 170
19. Donald Trump –
2016: “I have already learned everything from you,” said the Sicilian. “I know were the poison is.” “Only a genius could have deduced as
much.” “How fortunate for me that I
happen to be one,” said the hunch back, growing more and more amused now. p. 178
20. Classic
Blunders: “Fool!” cried the hunch
back. “You fell victim to one of the
classic blunders. The most famous is
‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well know is
this” ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.’” p. 179
21. Life Is Not
Fair: And that’s when she [Edith – Goldman’s wife] put her book down. And looked
at me. And said it: ‘Life isn’t fair, Bill.
We tell our children that it is, but it’s a terrible thing to do. It’s not only a lie, it’s a cruel lie. Life is not fair, and it never has been, and
it’s never going to be.’ p. 237
22. True Love – Best
Thing – Except . . .: “Sonny, don’t you tell me what’s worthwhile—true love
is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. Everybody knows that.” p. 315
23. Goldman on Baum: Well, it’s my conviction that this is the
same kind of thing as the Wizard of Ox sending Dorothy’s friend to the wicked
witch’s castle; it’s got the same ‘feel,’ if you know what I mean, and I didn’t
want to risk, when the books building to climax, the reader’s saying, ‘Oh, this
is just like the Oz books.’ Here’s the
kicker, though: Morgenstern’s Florinese version came before Baum wrote The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, so in spite of the fact that he was the
originator, he comes out just the other way around. pp. 319-320